I wanted to stop in and say hello. I have been away awhile and unable to sit and take the time to write anything. We had a holiday filled with mixed emotions. Daddy was able to spend Christmas with the family, although he was weak. We had time with him and he got to see the kids get there gifts from him. On December 27, 2011 at 9:10am, Daddy took his last breath. I had been preparing myself for that moment for months and especially the final few weeks.
He and I had so many conversations. I knew he was ready and the last days he kept telling me he wished for it to be over. But standing by his bed watching as he took his final breath was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I promised him I would be strong, that I would take care of things so that it wasn't all left to my Uncle. I know some probably feel like I was trying to take over and for that I apologize but I was keeping a promise to Daddy and that is all I care about.
Trying to keep everyone happy is an impossible task. Sometimes you just have to do what you know is right. There are a select few that know the things Daddy and I talked about. Just as there are things that were said between the two of us that will stay just between us. Taking care of him during his final days was the greatest gift I will ever be given. I miss him everyday and I know it will get easier but right now I just can't cope. I haven't been able to go to the cemetery since the funeral. It's to hard!! I can't accept his death yet. I know it is reality, but to see his grave is something I can't handle yet. I am going forward into this year trying to only have happy thoughts. I will not remember the bad, I will picture him as he once was, able to walk and breath without struggling. These are the images that will keep me strong.
I wish you all good health and happiness in the new year and as always Happy Reading!!
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